I find it very surreal that I’m actually writing this now. I didn’t know if the time would ever come where I would feel confident and ready to share our secret with friends, family and clients.
Baby Danser will be making his or her big debut in March of 2013. Wowzas!
So I’m pregnant…which means I’m tired, grumpy and constantly feel hung over. Please tell me this ends. Soon. For no one is safe from Megan’s turn-on-a-dime, short fused, tantrums. Yes, I call them tantrums…because as quickly as they come on, I’m surprisingly over it the next minute. This roller coaster is BRUUUUUUUUUUUUTAL. Ask anyone who’s been around me these past few months.
The good news, I’ve started to turn the corner. I’m nearing the end of my first trimester, which means I’m coming out of this little shop of horrors. I’m shocked no one talks about this more…until your pregnant. Then everyone who’s been pregnant or knows someone who’s been pregnant talks about how awful the first trimester is. Gee…thanks for the afterthought.
Here is our little Tetris shaped baby. Cutie. In a blobby sorta way…
I have the queasiest stomach on the planet when it comes to doctors, hospitals, needles or anything that will cause me temporary harm. Call it needle-petrifia. So you can imagine the constant fear I’ve been living in. Our first pre-natal appointment has come and gone. On the morning of, I woke up a mess. Nervous, anxious and very testy.
First off…we waited for over 45 minutes. My mind came up with all kinds of things that they’d be doing to me. My name was finally called and Drew and I went back. As soon as we walked into the room that I’d have my ultrasound in, I sat down on the first thing I could find, the color drained from my face, I had to breathe deep to keep from passing out and I started to cry. I’d never seen these machines before. Too much, too fast. Everyone thought I was a nutcase.
Bless our nurse who said “You want to cry? You go right ahead. Nothing wrong with crying.” And handed me a tissue. (I think Drew tried to hide a laugh.) He was on his best behavior because right before we walked into the doctor’s office I said this to him.
Me: Wait, before we go in. I need you here today not as a nurse…but as my husband.
Drew: What on Earth does that mean?
Me: Please don’t speak in nurse-talk where I don’t know the meaning of your words. I’ll feel left out and don’t know what’s going on. Dumb it down please.
Drew: Got it. (And in his head, probably counting down the months til this is all over.)
We heard the heartbeat and I thought maybe I’d cry…I didn’t. (I don’t think Drew and I even held hands…we were glued to that ultrasound screen.) I was mesmerized. It was so fascinating and again…surreal. I stared at our Little with it’s super intense and fast heart beat. I now want an ultrasound machine for our home so I can check in whenever I want. (Not so scary anymore.) But still surreal. It feels like this is happening to someone else. Until my “hangover” shows up and I know it’s definitely happening to me.
So the big question remains…will we find out what we’re having? The answer: of course. And I will, in True-Megan-Fashion…reveal it in an over-the-top, dramatic sorta way. A Gender Reveal party. So obnoxious…but I will find any excuse to throw a party.
A huge thank you to our friends and family who have been oh-so-supportive. We love you all!
What I’m mostly looking forward to, in the “better days ahead”, is responding to a girls night out text with an “I’m in!”…instead of “I’ll see you in three years after I’ve recovered from this trauma.” On a run yesterday (still getting in 2.5-3 miles!), I told Drew that I haven’t seen my friends in ages. He responds with “well you should call them.” So black and white. Duh, I know I should call them. I’m simply reflecting on the fact that I’ve been so miserable lately that you, Beau and Kitty have been the extent of my social interaction. I die.
Here is a little PhotoMontage of my First Trimester. I’m keeping it light-hearted and not showing the mean, sick, and incredibly tired day photos. (UGH!! Did I just unknowingly join that club of past and current pregnant woman who take the “don’t ask don’t tell” stand with the first trimester? Maybe no one talks about it, because outta sight, outta mind. I’m beginning to catch on.)
- Just A Few First Trimester PhotoMontage Details
- A. The day after we found out we were pregnant…I fit into my pre-wedding skinny jeans. I got to enjoy them for about 2 weeks.
- B. I was headed north for my BFF’s bacherlorette party when I was about 7-ish weeks pregnant. Since I knew I wasn’t partaking in the many drinking adventures, I spent way too much money on clothes I no longer fit into right now. Know this…I will get into you next spring, you adorable-dalmation-print pants you.
- C. I’m addicted to the hundreds of pregnancy apps I’ve downloaded to my phone. I check “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” almost daily. Some of the stuff they tell you is ridiculously obvious. Others are not…ie. your baby is producing waste this week and it goes into the mother’s blood. Sick.
- D. I have the best friend in the world. Emily ventured into a maternity shop with me. We went into the dressing room together (cause that’s what good girlfriends do) and to our delight, found strap-on-baby-bellies!!! We immediately put them on. And couldn’t stop laughing. ***DISCLAIMER: Emily is NOT pregnant. She wanted me to add that. She was just being my moral support. 🙂 ****
- E. I found alcohol free wine! It was actually one of the ways I told my Columbus girlfriends I was pregnant. We had a girls night and we each normally bring a bottle of wine to try. When I got this out…every kinda stopped talking and looked at me. Squeals, hugs and stories started. (P.S. I know that there is less than .05% alcohol still found in AFW. I’m waiting til I’m a bit further down the road to pop this open.)
- The Rest: Are fairly obvious. I few photos of my cravings. It’s either sweets or carbs. I’ve been eating like a total jerk lately. And loving it. I’m still running regularly and fitting in 2.5 or over 3 miles on good days. My goal is get back up to 5 miles. I’ve cut back seriously on my caffeine intake. I have a cup of coffee (ONE! I can’t believe I’m down to one cup of coffee a day when I used to consume a whole pot.) and one diet coke in the afternoon. A trip to Michigan, a trip to the Windy City. After one of the largest meals of my life, I got back home and realized our baby had popped out. Woah. My younger brother and his adorbs girlfriend came to Columbus for 3 Day Bender‘s first night out (that’s Drew’s band!). And we are getting closer and closer to Mike & Emily’s big weekend. I can’t wait.
Drew has been extremely patient and kind to me. We have had our freak out moments but come back to each other with more excitement and love than I thought was possible. For our First Anniversary, he gave me a collage of photos and heartfelt words. I re-read them the other day and they took on a whole new meaning. In his sweet note to me he said “I can’t wait to start a beautiful family with you and continue this journey together.” Little did we know 2 months later : SURPRISE!!! It’s starting. I’m strapped in…and ready for this ride. (As ready as one over-thinking, needle petrified, excited, totally uncertain and afraid of the unknown woman can be.)
I’m looking forward to being able to share my journey with my readers, friends and family. Since I’ve kept this a secret for what feels like forever, I’ve had tons of feelings and emotions floating around in my head with no real outlet. So I started journaling again. I haven’t actually journaled since right after college and when I started my blog. My first entry was hilarious…full of big tear stains as I sorted out my shock, fear and an overwhelming sense of responsibility that had settled on me. It was just like a high school journal entry!! Run on sentences and changing directions with every paragraph. I’m thankful to have those first weeks documented. And I’m sure I’ll share “the day we found out” story soon.
And I (we) are so incredibly excited to meet our first Little.