Thank the pregnancy gods…it’s starting to go a bit faster than watching a pot of hot water boil. Phew!! I’m even two weeks late on my monthly update!
What’s been happening in the past 6 weeks? Baby BOY Danser is growing like a weed. I’m still not 100% sure if I’ve felt him move. I think I have…but I’m not positive. Everyone was telling me that it’d be this magical and special moment for me. I’d hoped it would be. But every time I think I feel it…all I can say is “Maybe that was it?” After watching him on the ultrasound and how incredibly active he was, I’m sure I’ll feel it without any doubts soon. He was kicking directly at my rib cage the entire time he was on the screen. My doctor said “Ooooooh…he’s gonna give you trouble soon.” (Like this hasn’t been trouble from the start??)
Here’s a foot…
And he’s a thumb sucker. Can’t see it? Don’t worry…I don’t think I can either, but I attempted to point out a few key features…
In my first pregnancy announcement I promised the story of how we found out. I think it’s time…
In the beginning of 2012, Drew and I decided maybe it was the year to start trying to have a baby. I went off my birth control and thought I’d be pregnant if he just looked at me. February, March and April went by with no positive pregnancy tests. (And believe me, we could have taken stock in them due to how many I’d take each month.) I know that isn’t very long to try. Like, at all. But I always thought it would happen immediately for us. The end of April rolls around and the weather is getting nicer. We’d found out the month before that our best friends were getting married in October 2012. Did I mention the weather was nice?? Which means patio cocktails and impromptu bar crawls. So we put this whole baby thing on the back burner.
Fast forward to the end of July. It was a typical summer evening for me. I was getting ready to go photograph a brand new baby. As I was getting ready, I realized…hmmm…I’m seven days late. Weird. I didn’t think much of it but then remembered an old pregnancy test that was in my car from the early months when I would take one almost every week. I went and got it. No one else was home. I really wasn’t concerned. I took it, left it in the bathroom and continued prepping for my shoot.
I was on my way out the door, arms loaded to capacity when I remembered that little test upstairs. Might as well check before I go. I glance in the bathroom and see that second little line. I looked at my self in the mirror and said a string of expletives that are not PG rated. Then I said (outloud to no one) “this is faulty.” I mean it’s generic brand. I left for my shoot (shaking a little). And choking down a string of emotions and fears.
When I held that little baby I wondered. It was a shoot I will never forget. Remember him?
On the way home I stopped at Target and bought four more brand name pregnancy tests. Drew was on the front porch when I pulled up. I grabbed my Target bag, ran up the steps pulled my new name brand tests out and said “we gotta take these!”
He was calm. He’s also heard me say this before (more than once). So I take it…and get an error. I think false alarm! I knew it! I chug at least three glasses of water so I can take it again. We watched that second test like a hawk. It took 45 seconds for the digital screen to show us “pregnant”.
We didn’t cry. We didn’t jump up and down. We just stared at each other and kept saying “I can’t believe it”. We went and sat on the couch. After a few minutes of silence I finally said….
“Where is it going to live?”
Those were my true first words in response to our pregnancy. Profound, I know. But I was really concerned! We are a 3 bedroom house w a much needed guest room and my perfect office full of beautiful light and windows. Wellll….BBD gets my office and I move up into the attic. Now begins project Finish The Attic.
After a few days (I’ll be honest and say days…not hours) I was able to put the shock and intense fear that I was feeling aside…and truly get excited. We decided not to announce it to the world until we were well past the “danger zone”. Blogging is my way of releasing built up feelings and emotions so I was feeling trapped with no escape. So I went back to my roots, I bought a journal. In middle school and high school I would fill up page after page, book after book, full of journal entries. (They are hilarious to read now.) And my first entry as a newly pregnant woman was a total repeat of adolescence all over again. Complete with tear stains and over 8 pages of pour-my-heart-out-feelings-and-fears. Woah. I loved it.
My biggest fear was that I hadn’t treated my body well my first few weeks of unknowingly being pregnant. Who does? But I was very scared. I was on a migraine medication that is known to cause birth defects. I obsessed over that. Cried over it.
At our 17 week appointment we had an anatomy scan and ultrasound. The first words out of my doctor’s mouth was “there is no cleft lip. Spine looks great.” I let the tears fall. We had a healthy and active baby boy.
Those lips!!! Those are my lips. I can tell. I announced it immediately when we saw this on the ultra sound. And that little curve of the chest. Makes my heart swell! This is my favorite image and I look at it all the time.
I’m starting to really count down the weeks. The nursery planning is in full effect and I can’t wait to debut that. We also can’t wait to meet him and I can’t wait to put all the clothes on him that I can’t stop buying.
Here’s a little photo montage of the past 6 weeks. I love avocados. And citrus fruit. Can’t stop eating it.
Thank you for sharing in our joy. We’re more than half way there!!